Since Bryson and I ended highschool, he got hired on as a mechanic on 2nd shift. I moved to Pittsburg to go to school so I only could see him on the weekends anyways, so we didn't have much of an effect on his shift then. I moved back home after a year and we moved in together. Even though we lived together, we still only saw each other mainly on the weekends and for maybe 30 minutes a day on a lunch break. I hated it but then again, I had my time after work to get homework done or see friends. I was the first of my friends to get married, so I had single friends I could hang with at night if I didn't want to be alone. I finished school, we purchased our home, and I got pregnant all in about a 3 month span so I stayed busy fixing up the house. The nine months I was pregnant, I slept a lot and prepared for Braylea but started to really feel lonely at this point. In reality, we were married and lived in the same house, but we really were not living married life. Our only communication was through phone and it just didn't seem healthy to me. We honestly didn't 'know' each other anymore. I kept thinking that when I have my baby girl every night to spend my time with that all would be okay. Well, it depressed me even more. I feel like a single mom at night. Bryson is a great dad and I couldn't ask for better but he can't be there to help feed her, change her, bathe her, entertain her, and put her to bed every night. The routine just keeps going and going and I realized that change needs to happen or I was really going to go into some kind of depression. I honestly give props to single mothers because I couldn't imagine doing it full time. Don't get me wrong, Braylea is not a hard baby to please or to take care of but what I'm meaning is having that support system of another parent involved.
I have always prayed for Bryson to be able to go to first shift but the opportunities never came. Now, my prayers are being answered. Bryson is being offered a 'MMV' (Motor Maintenance Vehicle) position. It isn't the ideal 'first' shift job but it is traveling to terminals around the four states that do not have shops to work on the semis. The downfall is that they leave on Friday mornings and return Monday afternoons, then off until the next Friday. He will do this for 8 weeks, then have 4 weeks where he is home. The awesome part about that is he will be working day shift those weeks! Another positive note is he travels to good cities..Tulsa, Springfield, OKC, Wichita, Ark..so we could go visit him and have things to do.
I really feel positive about this change. We will actually be a 'semi' normal family. I can come home to him in the evenings, make supper with him here, and go to bed with him..the little things that you could take for granted. I've always had a strong jealousy for people who have that. People joke now that we might find out that we don't really like each other and can't handle living with each other..ha. The sad part is that there is partial truth to it. We don't live with each other full time in reality.
So..tonight I write this and sit back and think that it is 'hopefully' (don't want to jinx it) my last evening without my husband on a normal basis. Tomorrow he begins first shift to do some training before he begins his route.
God is good!
